The Gift Paradox

Hello Aspiring Chillers,

For those of you that missed the last few weeks, this is part three of a three part series about how to help control your expenses especially during the holiday season.

1. Most of us do not need more things. (Two Weeks Ago)

2. Experiences are better than things. (Last Week)

3. People do not want the crap you buy them. (Today)

Selfless or Selfish?

It turns out that giving a gift is not as selfless as it seems. Research indicates that, regardless of how much the receiver appreciates the gift, the giver experiences a greater emotional boost.

Let's delve deeper into the notion of "it's better to give than receive." While we've established its truth based on the emotional benefits to the giver, there are other aspects to consider that compound on these emotions.

1. Occupying Space in Their Life: Even the smallest material gift occupies physical space. This seemingly selfless act can be perceived as somewhat selfish. Consider whether the gift actually adds value to the receiver’s life, or just takes up space.

2. Power Dynamics in Relationships: Consider the balance of power in your relationships. Gift-giving, while well-intentioned, may inadvertently shift the dynamics. Age and socioeconomic status are two important power dynamics to be aware of. Whether the other party can afford to meet the gift giving precedent you set, or whether it actually just adds social pressure for them to reciprocate. Is it always you winning the exchange? Perhaps the truly selfless act would be to let them win for a change.

3. What are you trying to say with your gift?: I love you and appreciate you in my life? If so, just tell them that! Most people appreciate hearing that more than receiving a gift they didn’t ask for.

Full Circle

Bringing this back to the first two posts on the topic, planning an activity together allows both parties to be givers and receivers, sharing the emotional boost.

Even if people appreciate the gifts, it's crucial to recognize that they may not need more material possessions. Most things are readily available in today's world. If giving is essential, let's redirect our generosity towards those who genuinely need it, rather than those who simply want it.

Initiate conversations with your close ones within your gift-giving circles. Propose doing something different this year, such as contributing time or gifts to those in need.

If gift-giving is inevitable, gather and follow the rules outlined in the first article to ensure the gift is truly needed or deserved. As a last resort, consider gifting an Audible membership it takes up no physical space and offers the opportunity for learning or entertainment.

Closing In

While there are numerous causes to support, the primary focus here is on adding value to life. Extensive research has identified charities that excel in problem-solving and providing significant value to their beneficiaries. In the end, it's about creating value, not just dollars donated or low administrative costs.

For guidance on choosing the right charities based on your values, check these sites:

• GiveWell

• Charity Navigator

If you're seeking purpose or want to help others find theirs, consider exploring opportunities with 80,000 Hours. It's an excellent starting point for your adventure towards making a meaningful impact.